Deal With Stress

Could This Be the One Thing Stopping You From Living the Life You Really Want?

joyI’ve been thinking about why so many people complain a lot about not living the life they really want yet never really do anything to make it happen.

Hmmm.   Then the more I thought about it, the more I realized there’s really one big thing that’s sure to keep any of us from moving forward, achieving our dreams, and ultimately creating the life we want.

If you believe you’re stuck and just can’t seem to get to where you want to be, this article might be a big help to you.  You may just become aware of how you can make a powerful change and start building and living the life you really do want.

Before I continue, I’d like you to answer the following questions because if your answers to these questions are yes, you will benefit from what I’m sharing here if you embrace the information and put it into practice:

1) Do you find yourself consistently complaining about not living the life you really want or perhaps blaming others for it or what you have or don’t have in your life right now?

(When I say “what you have or don’t have in your life right now,” it doesn’t necessarily mean material things.  It could be anything from a relationship to where you’d like to live in the world to the house or career you always wanted.)

2) Do you carry on about it to family, friends, and co-workers and often make yourself the victim?

3) Are you always feeling bad about things and asking yourself, “Why me?” (In other words, playing the role of the victim?)

If so, this article has the potential to help you more than you know—if you learn from it and put the ideas into practice!  And, here’s something that might make you feel a little better about everything.

If you do fall into this group of people and these types of beliefs and behaviors, don’t beat yourself up.  It’s not your fault.  Why?  Well, first because you’re only human, and second because you just don’t know what you don’t know.

You see, things like complaining and blaming and victimizing and other similar behaviors stem from lower level thinking and beliefs.  And, they’re keeping you trapped right smack dab in that stinking old daily drama by repeating themselves over and over again.

“The life you want begins by first embracing the life you have.” ~ Rob Bell

The life you want really does begin by first embracing the life you have as this quote so eloquently points out.

That said, it can be a tough one to hear.  But, here’s the one thing that’s not allowing you to embrace the life you already have and why you continue to complain about or blame others for your shortcomings:

You’re not taking 100% responsibility for where you are now or for creating and living the life you really do want.

Again, this can surely be a tough one to hear and an even tougher pill to swallow, but it is hands down the single most important part of ever having and living the life you really want.

And, it does mean taking 100% responsibility.  Not 75%.  Not 95%.  You have to be all in at taking 100% complete and total responsibility for everything about your present life and also for creating the life you really want!

“Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment and learn to exercise his will – his personal responsibility.” ~ Albert Einstein

Unfortunately, most people don’t realize they’re not taking full responsibility for themselves, and without that awareness, the beliefs and behaviors continue.

How so?  Many of us have developed a false belief or adopted the erroneous mentality perhaps through society itself or from our childhoods or any of many possibilities that the world owes us something.

Some believe things should just happen for them, that it’s up to someone else or the Universe itself to miraculously make everything they want just fall in their lap.

But here’s the thing.  It’s a false and completely erroneous mentality.  No one is entitled to anything without taking full responsibility for themselves for the life they’re presently living and the life they want to have.

And, we all have to believe whatever we want is possible, have faith in ourselves, take steps to create it, and show gratitude for what we already have.

Once we do, we start attracting the circumstances, opportunities, and people necessary to move forward, achieve our dreams, and live out the life we really do want.

When you recognize that you must take 100% responsibility for the life you’ve been living and are living, and also for creating and living the life you want, you’ll start to see things much, much differently.

Here’s a breakdown of what is likely to occur for you when you begin taking full responsibility for everything going on in your life right now and for whatever life you want to create for yourself.

Things will start to change for the better.  You’ll develop a new and much more positive mindset, lose interest in complaining, and let go of blame.

You’ll have no interest in anyone else’s drama or creating any for yourself because you understand your sense of responsibility.  You’ll stand in your faith, your commitment to yourself, and the positive change it brings to your life.

You’ll begin to recognize that you can create and live the life you really want to live if you:

1) shift your thinking;

2) stand in your faith;

3) clarify what you really want your life to look like;

4) create a vision of it;

5) commit to taking positive action on your vision; and

6) do the work (inner and outer) to achieve it.

You’ll be able to recognize and “hear” what you sounded like when you were a chronic complainer or always blaming others or being the victim.  You’ll vow to change and never go back to those lower levels of thinking or behavior.

Taking 100% full responsibility for yourself clears the slate.  You’ll find yourself enthusiastically enjoying the life you’re now living while working on creating the life you want for yourself.

You’ll be excited to learn the steps to get there, believe anything is possible, and take action on those steps.

Complete faith in yourself and your vision and a consistent positive mindset attracts the people, circumstances, and opportunities that will lead to positive action and results.  Soon you’re experiencing much higher levels of thinking and more positive outcomes.

You’ll begin to feel like you’re finally on the right path, and it then becomes a “knowing.”  This is your intuition or inner wisdom guiding you from one step to the next.

You can enhance and expand this experience simply by taking some quiet time to be still, go inside yourself, and ask for that guidance on a regular basis.

One positive action leads to another, and with time, you’ll begin to live the life you really want to live–the life you imagined you’d be living!

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams; live the life you imagined.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Author Bio: Peggy Nelson is a certified Life and Personal Development Coach, a certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the founder of She is also a published author and blogger. Her mission as a professional coach is to help people get unstuck and get past whatever stands in the way of creating and living their best life.  She helps them shift their thinking, let go of stress and drama, change their perspective, view their life from a much larger lens, and ultimately create fulfilling, happy, and successful lives they love. To learn more about Peggy and coaching with her or to download her free eBook, follow her blog, or schedule a free get acquainted session with her, please visit her new website at

Deal With Stress

Get a Happy Life in 60 Minutes

Young Woman Bending Down and Smiling with Arms Stretched BackWhat is your biggest obstacle when it comes to living a happy life?

I know what mine is; Time.

But does it really have to be so time-consuming to do activities that lead to well-being? Fortunately the answer is “no”.

Keep on reading and I will tell you how to get happier in less than one hour.

Oh, and by the way. These activities I will tell you about have all been scientifically proven to reduce anxiety and depression.

OK here we go.

Gratefulness (5 minutes)

“Gratitude is many things to many people. It is wonder; it is appreciation; it is looking on the bright side of a setback; it is fathoming abundance; it is thanking someone in your life; it is thanking God; it is ‘counting blessings.’ It is savoring; it is not taking things for granted; it is coping; it is present-oriented.”

Sonja Lyubomirsky’s The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want

Let’s start easy.

Being grateful is something anyone can practice, it does not cost anything and it sure is not exhausting.

However it is neither something we usually do enough.

In Sonja Lyubomirsky’s book she demonstrates that expressing gratitude makes us happier, more hopeful and more energetic. It also allows us to feel positive emotions more frequently and reduces negative feelings like depression and envy.

A good way to practice gratefulness is to think about what you are grateful for just before falling asleep. Take 2 minutes while you lay there in your bed and just allow yourself to think about all the good things you have in your life.

Another good exercise is to list three things that you are grateful for. If you come up with more than three things just type them down as well and be happy that you have so much to be thankful for.

If I for some reason haven’t been able to convince you to practice gratefulness then I really recommend you to watch David Steindl’s Ted Talk.

Work out (15 minutes)

If you are already working out or if you have done it regularly before you are well aware of the wonderful feeling you experience afterwards. What is that feeling exactly? And can it be trusted or is it just an illusion?

That feeling is two things combined. First of all the satisfaction of accomplishment. Basically the same feeling you get whenever you have done something that took some kind of effort.

But it is not all in your mind. Things happen inside your body when working out as well. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins.

Endorphins trigger a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine. For example, the feeling that follows a run or workout is often described as “euphoric”. That feeling, known as a “runner’s high,” can be accompanied by a positive and energizing outlook on life.

Even if that feeling would not be motivation enough. The Copenhagen City heart Study reported that “Mortality is lower in people reporting moderate jogging, than in non-joggers or those undertaking extreme levels of exercise”.

The study actually showed that shorter runs more often did not only get the same results as longer runs, but better.

So here is my advice. Pause the article right here. Go for a slow 15 min run and then come back and keep reading.

The one thing I can in fact promise you is that you won’t regret it afterwards.

Meditation (10 minutes)

First of all I’m not religious.

However, meditation is not just about achieving a greater state. The truth is that meditation has actually been supported by science to be healthy.

In many ways our brain is like a computer. When we meditate the brain processes less information. Much like your computer would if you went from having Netflix, Spotify, and YouTube running all at once, to shutting it all down and put it in sleep mode.

How to Meditate:

Sit yourself in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Then try to relax and focus all your attention on one single thing or phenomenon. It could be your breathing, a sensation in your body or a particular object outside of you.

As your mind wanders off to think about something else, gently direct it back to whatever you are focusing on.

The key is to acknowledge nothing ,but what you are focusing on.

If you want more information on different ways to meditate Bufferapp posted an exceptional infographic about meditation on their blog. Go check it out.

Surprise someone you like (25 minutes)

There are several layers in this point. First of all, spending time with the people in our surroundings is for most of us one of the most accessible happy generators. On the other hand to many it is one of the most underestimated happy generating activities.

Some might be quite surprised what science says about the effect spending time with our loved ones has.

For example, a study that was published in Journal of Socio-Economics explained that in terms of life satisfaction, our relationships with the people we care about is worth more than $100 000. On the other hand the same study showed that money had in fact a rather marginal effect on our happiness.

So why surprise someone then?

If spending time with our loved ones has such effect already, why the fuss about a surprise?

The fact is that doing something for someone else actually has a bigger effect on our happiness than doing something for yourself. This was also proven in a study published in The Journal of Happiness Studies.

“Participants recalled a previous purchase made for either themselves or someone else and then reported their happiness. Afterward, participants chose whether to spend a monetary windfall on themselves or someone else. Participants assigned to recall a purchase made for someone else reported feeling significantly happier immediately after this recollection; most importantly, the happier participants felt, the more likely they were to choose to spend a windfall on someone else in the near future.”

Author: Joachim Wernersson. Do you want to learn more about what you can do to be happier? Then visit our website at

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