One thing I know for sure is that the best way to create stress in your life is to live your life according to someone else. I know this because that is exactly what I did for many years. I listened to what other people told me and I believed that they knew better than I did.
For me, I had a self-confidence issue. I wasn’t confident in myself at all. So when someone told me something – anything — I took it to be true, believed it and did it. As in, I stayed with a job that was horrible, abusive and stressful for many years because I was told by my loved ones that I “had a good job”. Of course they would say that! They were on the outside looking in. They saw I worked at a stable company, got paid well, had great benefits and so on. What they couldn’t understand was how poorly I was treated on a daily basis, how stressful and negative the environment was, and how unsupporting management was. My loved ones didn’t know my true feelings because they didn’t live my life.
Makes sense right? Yet, because I didn’t believe in myself, I listened to them. They must know better, than me. They must know more because they are older than me. They must know because of their experience. That is what I thought!
I know better now. There is no way they could know because they are not me. My father had a saying “You don’t know what someone is going through unless you walk in their shoes, and since you only walk in your shoes be careful about judging someone else.” Oh, this is so true! We must be careful to not judge. Because honestly, who are we to say what someone else should or shouldn’t do?
If only I knew then that my loved-ones couldn’t know better than me – about me – because they weren’t walking in my shoes.
If you are reading this, more than likely you are looking to clear your stress. I have news for you that you might not like, but it is valuable. If you bring it into your life, you’ll eliminate lots of your stress immediately. Stop automatically listening to others.
Often people give us wonderful information that we might not have discovered and learned on our own — but you need to question, “Is this true for me?” Also question who told you that, and are they the best person for you to listen to? Can they absolutely know what you are going through, what you need to do, what you want to do? Have they walked in your shoes? Are they really trying to help or are they afraid that by you making a change, they will also have to change? (That’s biggie and a topic for another day.)
Please remember, you are truly the only person who can decide what is best for you! And that will go a long way to removing and clearing your stress in your life.
Author Bio: Kim Ravida is Founder and CEO of Kim Ravida Coaching. Kim works with women and women business owners to structure their lives and businesses in a way that fits them so that they reach their goals, make more money and live their lives with less stress and more success. She places an emphasis on fun, freedom and practicing good self-care.
For more tips go to www.kimravida.com and get your free copy of 5 Fun, Fabulous and Easy Ways to Love Your Reflection, Your Life and Your Business.