So you know how the Fire signs (Ares, Leo and Sagittarius) are passionate, strong willed, arrogant and can occasionally over react? Well, I’m an Ares, which is why it’s really humorous that I’m writing an article about how to relax. I can already tell you I’m the black cat, dark shadow Joan Jett of all the bloggers on this site, which is why you should take what I say very seriously, (in a not so serious way).
I spend a lot of time working with people who like me have a very hard time de-stressing from the chaos of everyday life, and whenever I tell them to do something ridiculous to relax, they look at me like I’m insane. Insert redundant and sarcastic thoughts here.
For instance when was the last time you yanked out the “colors” and started coloring? Or went swinging in the park?
“When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.” – Corinthians
I remember learning that in Catholic school; I also remember telling my teacher that was the dumbest thing I’d ever heard. “Why would you say that Devon?” He asked in his scholarly know better than me because he was an adult voice. My eight year old self looked at the big handsome teacher man and thought carefully before I said “well Mr. I don’t remember your name because it was twenty two years ago, why should kids have all the fun?” He and the rest of my class laughed at my comment which to them must have seemed very naive.
All these years later I still believe that there is no reason children should have all the fun. Let me ask you this, when was the last time you put the kids to bed, yanked out the coloring books and spent a quiet evening just coloring? Or watched cartoons when the kids weren’t in the house?
Many people around the world will tell you that as an adult if you want to relax, you’re supposed to meditate, get your hair and nails done, do something just for you “as an adult”.
Excuse my language but um, screw that! If you want to relax go back to being a child. Who says kids get to have all the fun.
So with all that being said here is my idea are you ready?
Spend an afternoon enjoying yourself, drink a glass of wine in your backyard in the middle of the day, dance to very loud up beat music, I suggest Phenomenal Woman, because hey we are aren’t we?
Paint your toes, shave your legs, masturbate on the kitchen table if you want to, do whatever you want but whichever it is you do, you must do it naked.
Why you ask why must you be naked? Why not?
I have this very good friend who is so well behaved, so Christian that she doesn’t even wear makeup, her eye shadow and her lip gloss are both clear. They sparkle but it’s so thin you can’t even tell. If I told her to dance around her house butt naked she’d giggle like a ten year old turn a deep shade of red (an amazing feat since her skin is the stunning color of dark chocolate) and say “you are so funny Devon”.
There is no way in any universe this one or alternate, that I would ever convince this woman to dance around her house naked, whether it was empty or not. Like many of you who are reading this, (and myself on some days) she has some serious body issues. She’s beautiful and well built, slender without being too thin, but she still sees herself as fat. Normally I’d excuse this body image with the fact that she’s pregnant but you can almost barely tell because of how slender her body is.
When was the last time you took the time to appreciate your body? To allow yourself to look in the mirror and not be ashamed of the scars bruises and age marks?
When was the last time you looked at yourself and thought “yes okay I have stretch marks, and yeah my boobs aren’t where they were at sixteen and no my ass is not as curvy or high as it used to be, but that’s okay because this body tells a story”? When was the last time you took the time to appreciate all of the years and memories that your body gave you?
We spend so much time as women, as people focusing on what other people need; children husbands wives employers parents friends, we very rarely take the time to appreciate ourselves, and when we do we spend so much time focusing on what we do not have we very rarely take the time to appreciate what we do have.
No my thirty year old body isn’t what my sixteen year old body was, nor are my boobs as high or my ass as tight, but you know what? My body tells a story, a beautiful story.
It tells the story of a young girl whose father beat her because she wasn’t black enough, it tells the story of a young girl who took the depoprevara shot at sixteen and gained weight, it tells the story of a twenty-three year old girl who miscarried a child and was repeatedly beaten by her boyfriend but mostly my body tells the story of a survivor. It tells the story of a warrior woman who remained strong through years of emotional, physical and sexual abuse.
My body tells the story of a young girl who was once a victim and grew into a warrior who inspires others. I am proud of this body, of every mark every scar and every scratch. I am proud of the tale that it tells and even of the secrets it hides.
So when I get absolutely stressed out, when I feel like the world is over and I can’t breathe I close the blinds, turn up the music and dance naked and take some time to appreciate myself with every fiber in my being because you know what? I have earned the right to be ridiculous, to take ten minutes and dance naked.
I have earned the right to sit and listen to employers, friends and family members rant rave and yell at me while I sit back smiling because instead of listening to the chaos going on around me, I’m remembering the last time I jumped up and down, danced all around butt naked in the privacy of my own home. I’m remembering the moments that I took for myself to do something ridiculous without caring what anyone else would think about it.
I very much look forward to hearing and trying out your ridiculous ideas of relaxation and I wholly promise to try each and every one of them, so come on readers, and challenge me.
Devon Hallgate (Syn) is a proud strong and wise warrior woman that decided a long time ago she was not going to let the limitations and labels other people put on her define her life. She is the founder of Skinnbonesglobal.com and Finding Ohna.