As we get older many of us find that we accumulate an increasing number of responsibilities from the diverse areas of our lives. Finding a balance and introducing appropriate ways of dealing with the stress of being responsible can weigh heavy as we become busier and aspire to increased success.
Let’s look at ways of finding a balance and dealing with the stress of being responsible in several areas of our lives:
– Work is important to many people. Being appointed to their first ‘proper’ job is a major landmark for young people as they strive to justify their employer’s faith in them, do a good job, maybe earn a promotion or two.
We all want praise, reward for our effort and to be recognised when we do well. Being responsible means gaining in confidence, becoming an independent thinker, taking ownership of certain tasks.
Achieving seniority often brings with it an increase in the levels of stress of being responsible; for staff, for earning money, for delivering good performance, being recognised by others as successful. Many people live according to their level of income so the pressure to earn money and retain their position means offering the best possible value to their employer.
Some people reach a time in their lives when they realise that they are not satisfied with their job. They may have reached a crossroads, had a life changing experience like divorce, been made redundant, their children have left home. They use this as the catalyst to review their future options.
Rather than wait for something major to happen why not stop and consider how satisfied you are with your job.
There may be an option to study part-time for a new career or introduce an interesting hobby or volunteer work that brings satisfaction and fulfillment into your life. If you have a partner perhaps they would be prepared to support you whilst you retrain.
– A parent’s responsibility is to care for their young children, to support them in becoming the best they can be. As parents get older the roles may change as they become increasingly in need of care and support. They may not realise how demanding they are becoming but dealing with the stress of being responsible for elderly parents can place major demands on time constrained offspring.
Start as you mean to go on is an important approach in dealing with the stress of being responsible for elderly parents. There may be extenuating circumstances from time to time, but if a weekly visit or daily phone call is the best you can comfortably sustain then start with that commitment from the outset. Some people try to juggle work, home, family and friends and then wonder why they become irritable, resentful, unhappy, stressed, unwell.
Some domestic jobs can be delegated to others. Cleaning, gardening, shopping, catering, even nursing care can often be provide externally at reasonable cost. This frees the time you spend together for more pleasant and companionable activities. If you feel guilty about introducing external support it may be worth addressing the reasons for those feelings. In order to be a good son or daughter must you do everything yourself, feel you’re doing the right thing? Hypnotherapy can help you deal with any guilt and stressful emotions.
– Young children are put first by their parents as understandably they need love, safety, security and nurturing. But often older children find that their demands are still being attended to. Many households provide several meal options for their children every evening; many parents spend hours each week driving their children to an assortment of appointments and social events.
Parents want their children to love them, to be friends. Many parents try to avoid confrontation and keep a happy household, but giving a screaming child a bag of sweets only teaches the child that the longer and louder it screams the more chance it has of getting what it wants. As they get older dealing with the stress of being responsible for your children often means being firm, consistent and loving. Hypnotherapy can help you cope better with stress, guilt and reintroduce clarity into your thinking.
– Partners can over time feel neglected. If you have a busy, demanding job, work long hours and feel compelled to always be on call, elderly parents who you feel need you, children who are consistently demanding, it can feel that your partner is the one person who is able to manage on his or her own.
Your partner may appear undemanding, self-sufficient, happy enough, but just because he or she says nothing doesn’t mean that they are not feeling neglected or missing your company. Their needs might not be as apparent as those of a boss, elderly parent or demanding teenager but their needs are equally important and valid.
Conversation, companionship, attention are all part of being responsible and committed to an adult relationship with your partner. Time needs to be spent on fun, sharing, sustaining and growing your relationship now and into the future.
Balance is the key to dealing with the stress of being responsible. Being firm, taking time to deal reasonably with the important demands in your life, but also taking time for yourself, for fun, personal care and happiness is important too.
Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.
Further help, advice and articles are available. For more information email, phone or visit her website.
Article originally posted here.