All of us at some point in time have experienced a wrath of criticism from someone, and it’s hurtful whether we admit it or not. There’s nothing we’d like more than to verbally blast the critic with everything we’ve got.
When I refer to criticism, I don’t mean the constructive criticism that helps us grow and learn and benefits all of us over the course of our lifetimes.
You know the type of criticism I’m talking about
I’m talking about the kind that makes us feel inadequate, crushes our confidence, causes us worry and stress, or just plain makes us feel bad.
Over the past several years while immersing in learning about human potential, behavior, and the power of paradigms, I came to an understanding and gained insight about criticism I never before had.
Often times those who criticize are unknowingly reflecting something that’s lacking in their own lives
And that understanding is this. Often times those who criticize are simply reflecting something that’s lacking in their own lives or that they’re lacking in their personal belief system.
In other words, perhaps they wish they were more like you or they’re jealous of where you are in life because they’re not there or any of many reasons.
“Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.” ~ Marshall Rosenberg
Critics almost always lack insight into what’s keeping them where they are
Criticism often times represents something people need or want and have not yet achieved for themselves. They usually lack insight into what’s keeping them where they are and why they’re not moving forward to create what they want for themselves.
Hearing this opened my eyes to a more mature and higher level of thinking. It gave me an understanding that allowed me to see the critics through a different lens rather than immediately feel hurt and rail against them.
I don’t condone the behavior
It doesn’t mean I condone the behavior or would give them permission to beat me up anytime they feel like it.
It simply means that my response, if there was one, would be far less accusatory and likely quite amiable instead. It would hopefully make a positive impression on them and perhaps elicit understanding on their part rather than add fuel to the fire.
Understanding brings change
This kind of response can change a person almost immediately because they recognize that the person they attacked is not attacking and criticizing them and also that their behavior was unwarranted or just plain out of line. Most importantly, it may be enough to stop them from attacking someone else.
So how do you handle criticism? We’re only human and it can be a challenge not to go after someone who has the audacity to criticize us, right?
Perhaps you’ll see it for what it really is
But, if you can keep the message of this article in mind the next time it happens to you, perhaps you’ll see it for what it likely really is–a reflection of the critic’s insecurities or shortcomings in their own mind and their inability to get where you are.
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” ~ Dale Carnegie
Author Bio: Peggy Nelson is a certified Life and Personal Development Coach, a certified Law of Attraction Coach, and the founder of PeggyNelson.net. She is also a published author and blogger. Her mission as a professional coach is to help people get unstuck and get past whatever stands in the way of creating and living their best life. She helps them shift their thinking, let go of stress and drama, change their perspective, view their life from a much larger lens, and ultimately create fulfilling, happy, and successful lives they love. To learn more about Peggy and coaching with her or to download her free eBook, follow her blog, or schedule a free get acquainted session with her, please visit her new website at www.PeggyNelson.net.