Sometimes when you’re depressed, there is nothing more irritating than an eternally cheerful person. After all, don’t they realize what you are dealing with here? In truth, they may not understand you, or even the concept of depression, but that can be an excellent reason to have them in your life.
There are friends you can pour your heart out to, who know what it is like to be down, and are good listeners. And these friends hopefully have enough optimism to help you look beyond what you are feeling.
The last thing you need when you want to dig a hole and crawl into it, is someone else who wants to dig a hole right beside you.
But eternal optimists are a different breed. They don’t just hope things will get better, they know they will. Furthermore, because they take the good and bad of life in stride, they never succumb to self pity, self criticism, or blame.
So if you can’t talk to your sunny minded friends and family about your depression, what can you do? You can learn from them. You can fake feeling okay, until you actually do.
Stop being annoyed by their cheerfulness. If they wake up to see a beautiful morning, don’t resent it, or try to avoid them. Have some coffee and try to see what they see. If they are chatty, and you’re not, don’t fight it. Know you can become more talkative as the day goes on, and let it flow naturally.
Relish the generosity of a cheerful soul. Truly happy people can be exceedingly generous. Kindness and acceptance seem to just flow out of them. And they give as the natural thing to do, not because they expect anything in return.
Realize that they care for you, faults and all. When cheerful people say they are happy to see you, it’s because they really are. This can be hard to take in if you expect people to size you up and find fault. And you may even tell yourself they can’t possibly really like you that much. But when you fully understand this kind of acceptance, it can open your eyes, and raise your spirits.
Cheerful people can show us what real sadness means. Even the most optimistic people encounter pain and sadness. They suffer loss and deep grief, like everyone else. If we can be there for them in a time of loss, we may gain a better understanding of deep sadness, and how it differs from depression and malaise.
We can also learn from their resilience. Memories may bring tears to their eyes on occasion, but they let them flow and then move on. When grief passes, they retain their gratitude for all their past and present joys.
Don’t make a big deal of why they’re happy and you’re not. You don’t need one more reason to compare yourself with other people. Accept them for who they are, and also accept yourself. Share in their good feelings when you can, and eventually you may realize they have lifted some of your burdens. And you didn’t have to say a thing.