Everyone is seeking happiness. This is a truth that supports the food, drug, entertainment, self-help, retail, automotive, and every other industry. People are seeking happiness; and, when they can’t find it, they seek to escape their discomfort. Of course, there are those who are seeking happiness through misery; and some who are miserable no matter what they do – but happiness is the ultimate point. And happiness is right here, right now — not someplace else, or some time in the future.
People who are unhappy and wish to be happy need to find their way from where they are to where they wish to be. Oftentimes, there is a “payoff” to our self-sabotage and self-imposed misery; some part of us always thinks it is benefiting from carrying an extra burden – as if we were collecting “points” we can cash in later for an equivalent reward (payable in happiness). Well, before you take another step, you must realize that “victims” are not happy people. The plan of happiness through martyrdom is a fundamentally flawed concept – as evidenced by the obvious lack of happy martyrs.
Happiness is the result of being in alignment with, or in harmony with, the natural flow and order of your life. Happiness is not simply the absence of intense negative emotions; many people think they are “happy” simply because they aren’t sad or angry. Happiness is the energy of positive expectancy, joy, contentment, faith, love, and gratitude. You do not need another person, or external circumstances, to experience these things; but, if you are seeking something you don’t already have, you will need a guide, or a map – and maybe some help – getting there. Here are five-steps you can follow as a basic guide for “turning that frown upside down,” or turning un-happiness into happiness:
Five Steps to Happiness:
1. Let-go of, release, and forget the victim-identification
If you aren’t happy, and you think you have reasons, then you have a victim-consciousness. There is no reason for winter and summer; there is no reason for happy or unhappy. But, there is a recipe for these things; and the recipe for happiness does not include: Victim-hood; Blame; Regret; Remorse; or Self-Pity. “What happened” happened, and you can’t change it; but it can change you for better or worse. Being a victim is a choice you make AFTER something happens to you. This isn’t to “minimize” whatever happened in the past; it is actually to put it back in the past where it belongs – taking only wisdom and growth, and leaving judgments, limiting beliefs, fears, and emotions.
2. Decide that you are Happy
Decide and declare that you are reading this, and doing these things, for one reason and one reason only – to be happy. And you are! This is your decision. The truth is not: Things are as they are and that makes me unhappy; the truth is that Things are as they are and I am choosing how to respond with my thoughts and emotions. Happiness is a choice; make that choice now, or there is no point wasting any more time trying to be happy.
3. Find an Incentive to be Happy
Why should you be happy? Why should you try to change, or do things differently? What is in it for you? What good is it for you to be happy? I have some answers to these questions; but you’ll need to find your own incentive if you’re the one doing what it takes to be happy. But, if you need some help getting started, Happiness is as good an incentive as any. No matter what you do in life, happiness is somehow going to be at the root of your actions – the quest for happiness, at least. Being happy is the whole point of life; but there are other practical benefits, as well. When you are happy, your body isn’t in the stress response. The stress response, according to the American Psychological Association (APA) could be responsible for up to 90% of all trips to the doctor’s office. Stress is responsible for unwanted weight gain, ED, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, and most other medical problems. Besides medical benefits, happy people age slower, live longer, and have better access to their mental faculties (they’re smarter…). And, while they’re here, they enjoy it more. Keep in mind, happy people are in the same world as un-happy people; they’ve just decided to look at it in such a way as to be happy.
4. Find Something to be Happy About
The song says, “Grey skies are GOING TO clear-up, put on a happy face…;” not, “wait until the weather changes to be happy. If you wish to master your emotions and be happy, then you need a strategy for “rainy days.” Anticipating the “sunshine” you know is coming is more than enough to be happy about; unless you are simply clinging too tightly to a painful memory, or a great fear. If this is the case, you may need to look into some of the new Energy Psychology techniques, such as Z-Point, EFT, or TAT, that you can use at home, by yourself, to eliminate fears and obstacles to happiness. Otherwise, you can recall a happy memory, a funny event, something you are excitedly looking forward to in the future, or something you are grateful for, or happy about, now – just look around and imagine everything disappearing if you have forgotten how to be happy for what you have.
5. Do Something Different
Do something to shift your attention – and your polarity – from negative to positive. Do whatever it is you love to do; and, if you can’t think of anything you love, try: Helping someone; Being Grateful; Saying Affirmations declaring your Happiness; Studying Spirituality, Personal Development, Personal Growth, Emotional Self-Management, Enlightenment, or Energy Psychology techniques, or Read, or do anything that expands your heart or mind. Go for a walk or to a park, lake, river, or beach; but do something with the intention of enjoying it.
Also practice re-framing your complaints from negatives to positives; if you can assume that things are happening to hurt you, you can just as easily assume they aren’t. Find something – an animal, a person, a place, a thing, a job, etc. – to appreciate and be happy about; and write it down in a positive way so you can refer back to it as a “homing thought” as often as you need to. Happiness is right here, right now – right where you are. You don’t need to go anywhere, or do anything to be happy; you simply need choose to be happy and let it be.
Pete Koerner, author of The Belief Formula
*For more information on the Energy Psychology techniques listed above (Z-Point, EFT, & TAT), visit http://www.ExploreExpandEvolve.com — the right-side of the page is devoted to Energy Psychology techniques and modalities.
*For a Free Report on Making The Belief Formula Work for You, visit: http://www.TheBeliefFormula.com
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