Categories
Deal With Stress

How to Let Go of Potential Outcomes

Body, Mind, and Spirit - 5 Habits that Will Help You Feel More AlignedDo you attach yourself to the outcome of every new opportunity, relationship, or situation that comes up for you? Did you know that you have the ability to let go of potential outcomes rather than put yourself through emotional torture waiting and wondering what a particular outcome will be?

Most people are not aware they can make the choice to let go of potential outcomes and save themselves a lot of grief when they do.  Here’s an example of one many people experience. See if you see yourself or someone you know in it:

You apply for a new job and land an interview with the company and it seems to go great. Then you end up waiting days or even weeks to hear the outcome.

What are you doing while you wait? Are you fretting about whether or not you’ll get the job? Are you stressed out and losing sleep over it? Are you second-guessing your answers to interview questions?

Are you asking yourself, “What if I don’t get this job?” or “What if I didn’t answer the questions right” or any of many other questions that come up?

I’d be willing to bet there isn’t a soul out there that hasn’t experienced this in some form or another while waiting to learn an outcome they’ve attached themselves to.

Why do we do this?

Because we believe that everything good that happens to us revolves around other people, outside circumstances, or perhaps even a stroke of luck.

“The reason many people in our society are miserable, sick, and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy attachment to things they have no control over.” ~ Steve Maraboli

Most of us don’t really understand the real reason we attach to potential outcomes is because we fear not having whatever that outcome may bring, and again, we rely on other people and outside circumstances–and yes maybe even luck–when we want something to go our way.

Then when we’re attached to and waiting for that outcome, fear causes us to stress, second-guess ourselves, go down the “what if” rabbit hole, and to beat ourselves up and feel bad.

Isn’t it time to let go?

Isn’t it time to let go of potential outcomes? Isn’t it time to stop attaching to things we have no control over? I sure think so, and I’m not saying it’s easy, but it can be done.

The first step in the right direction is simply being aware it is a choice. Armed with that new awareness, you can begin to work towards letting go of potential outcomes completely by reminding yourself that whatever will happen will happen with or without your chaotic emotional drain.

Quiet time

If you spend some quiet time with yourself and remind yourself that outcomes will happen as they will happen with or without you worrying or stressing about them, you’ll realize the truth in it and learn to let go.

This is the one that works best for me, and it does take some determination to let it all go, but I do because I know whatever will be will be, and if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.

The point of writing this article about detaching from outcomes is to make you aware that you don’t have to stay attached to outcomes and make yourself miserable in the process.

Be aware that you can make the choice to let go of potential outcomes

Being aware or conscious of the fact that you can make the choice to let go and detach from outcomes is life changing. You’ll be able to let them go before going into any situation, which will allow you to be relaxed and at your best while waiting for and even after the outcome.

Why? Because you now know that you have no control over the outcome and also because you now have the understanding that things work out the way they’re meant to.

Although I’ve repeated the message here a few times, it’s done with good intentions and to drive that message home. In the future, do your best to make the choice to let go of potential outcomes of any kind and instead just relax and know that whatever is meant to be will be.

“You don’t need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding. ~ Guy Finley

Author Bio: Peggy Nelson is a certified professional Life and Personal Development Coach, the founder of www.PeggyNelson.net (formerly Life Your Way Coaching), a published author, and an avid blogger. Her mission as a professional coach is to help people access that part of themselves that allows them to get out of their own way and shift their thinking, release fear at every level, experience personal growth and empowerment, and ultimately create fulfilling, happy, and successful personal and professional lives they love. To learn more about Peggy and what she offers or to follow her blog or schedule a free get acquainted session with her, please visit her website at www.PeggyNelson.net.

Categories
Deal With Stress

Emotionally Drained at Work? Reduce Stress and Gain Energy With These Tips

Woman needs to deal with stress at workMy mom is a social worker and sometimes she would come home crying and broken from some of the people she was helping. She specializes in at-risk-youth ranging from 7 to 17 years of age. Most of these youths would have ended up in jail, doing drugs or worse, dead if it wasn’t for my mom. She is given the most high-risk individuals due to her expertise, and normally she has a caseload ranging from 5-30 depending on the time of year and budgets. Each one of these youth tend to be very negative and require special attention, love and support.

Now imagine having to emotionally support all these high-risk youth, most of which see life negatively. No amount of sleep helps because this type of work is always with you. Just because my mom is home from work, doesn’t mean she isn’t thinking about her youth or worrying if they are okay. In fact, evidence suggests that some social workers can experience post traumatic stress disorder or high anxiety due to the emotional stress of the career.

Your career can be demanding as well, especially after working day in and day out for years on end. Some are more physically demanding while others are more emotionally taxing. People with physically demanding jobs are able to recharge by getting some rest, but what do emotionally drained people do to recharge? Those that work in emotionally draining careers such as social work, counseling, teaching, and customer service understand that once they begin to feel emotionally drained, sleep doesn’t always help.

For emotional jobs, the key is daily planning. Hiring managers are now placing more emphasis on emotional IQ, so creating and following small daily steps to maintaining your emotional levels in check are more important than ever before. Below you will find tips that will allow you to de-stress and gain back your energy.

Be Present

Memories are the remnants of our past, some are good while others not so much. It is good practice to reflect on the good and the bad, but the problem arises when we get stuck in the past, wondering what we could have done different.

This proverbial what if dilemma can lead to anxiety which can drain you emotionally and make you more irritable at work and lead to a drop in your productivity. Instead, give yourself an allotted time where you focus on the past and reflect on it, appreciating the good memories and learning from the bad. A solid timeframe for reflection would be 5-10 minutes, preferably before bed. If you notice your productivity begin to drop or you’ve begun to procrastinate but feel that your emotional state is in check, a quick trick that I use is looking for other ways to boost my work efficiency.

The key here is that after the time is up, you must focus on the here and now. In the morning, ask yourself “What can I do right now to help better myself and/or my situation?” Whatever answer that may be, whether big or small, is the right answer. Working on aspects of your life that you do have direct control over can substantially raise your confidence and reduce anxiety, leading to more stable emotional state.

Keep a Journal

I have 2 journals, a declaration journal and a reflective journal. A declaration journal is simply where I write 3 main goals for the day. Even if I do nothing other than those 3 goals all day, I find that at the end of the day I still feel like I had a productive day.

Another plus of keeping a journal is simply to express or release bottled up emotions. Bottling up those emotions is similar to dropping a Mentos into soda, eventually you will have an emotional overload.

Be Picky with Music

Music creates emotion within us. Normally you will pick a song based on how you’re feeling or want to feel. Create a happy playlist with your all time favorite songs. Include songs that truly reach your heart; the songs that you can’t help from smiling while listening to them.

I like to listen to my happy playlist on my way to and from work. The reason I choose these times is because there’s traffic going both ways for me. Traffic is an obvious stressor for many people. My happy playlist indirectly reminds me on the way to work and on the way home that I should be thankful for my life and that most of the aspects of my life that are stressing me are minute and irrelevant.

Author Bio: Nicholas Filler lives in Idaho, and has an interest in technology, education, and medicine. He studied English with an emphasis in writing at Boise State University. Currently working on game theory and design. He enjoys spending his days outside, skiing during the winter, and learning about engineering concepts.