“For the love of all that is holy, why oh why do I keep making the same mistakes over and over again!?”
Have you ever heard someone say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? Sure you have! You are here because you’ve made the same mistake many times over. You even KNOW that it’s a mistake and you feel strongly you should have learned your lesson by now, yes? So why do you keep making the same mistakes over and over?
I’d like to suggest that there is a hidden reason that is keeping you locked into this repeating problem, and even beyond that, there is something even greater at stake—your happiness and peace of mind. Many of us keep making the same mistakes over and over again and somehow we think that one day we’re going to miraculously reach that holy grail of life—happiness. In a perfect world, maybe that would be the case, but as you know the society we live in is far from perfect. There are simply too many things to do and not enough time to do them all.
Not only are we stressed, but so are the people around us. Who has time to be friendly or stop and chat? Who has the time to relax or enjoy family time on a regular basis? All of this creates an environment where tension and anxiety abound. It’s also the perfect breeding ground for negative emotions like fear, anger, and even depression to take hold.
It’s no wonder that we create defense mechanisms to protect us from going completely nuts as we try to deal with stress in this crazy world we live in. Unfortunately for many of us, instead of recognizing these defense mechanisms as the survival instincts that they are, we see them as personal failings and point the finger of blame directly at ourselves. You see, the key is to look at these perceived “mistakes” with compassion, and instead of beating yourself up for making the same mistakes over and over, learn use them to your advantage. Here’s how:
1. Identify the “mistake” you keep making over and over
What is it that’s not working for you in your life right now? Are you overeating? Maybe smoking or drinking more than usual? Are you spending more money than you can afford? What about your social life? Are you avoiding people who matter because you just don’t feel like yourself? Whatever it is that’s getting in the way of your happiness, you need to name it before you can deal with it.
2. Figure out what making the same mistakes over and over is doing for you.
We don’t always do the right thing, but rarely do we do random things. That means that whatever you’re doing that you need to stop, you’re doing for a reason. Do some soul searching to find out what that reason is. Are you overeating to fill an emotional void? Maybe you’re avoiding people because your self-esteem has seen better days? Again, whatever the answer is for you, bring it to light so that you can start dealing with it.
3. Get a new defense mechanism.
Instead of beating yourself up for picking up a bad habit, focus on replacing it with something positive. Remember, whatever you resist persists, so don’t obsess over making the same mistakes you made before, but instead, focus on replacing that bad habit with a good one that serves the same purpose. If your self-esteem needs boosting, engage in some meditation methods that include positive affirmations instead of avoiding friends. If you know you’re smoking or eating more because you’re anxious, practice some calming meditation methods.
Ask yourself: Do you really want to stop making the same mistakes over and over? A great way to release your limiting pattern is by listening to our free 6-minute Core Energy Technique audio. It’s a quick and powerful meditation technique for releasing any unwanted pattern of mind and emotion.
As you’re working on how to deal with stress effectively and reversing negative patterns of behavior, be kind to yourself. It’s normal to experience some setbacks along the way, so just accept them when they come, and don’t let them throw you off track. Be persistent, and you’ll get there—I promise!